There’s this quiet myth we tend to believe in early adulthood: that big life moments—graduating, landing a job, moving to a new city, finding “your people”—will feel triumphant and clear. That we’ll step into our next chapter like the lead in a coming-of-age movie, music swelling as everything falls into place.

But real life? Real life often sounds more like your internal monologue whispering: “What am I doing?” “Is this normal?” “Why does everyone else seem to have it figured out while I’m stress-eating bagels and Googling how to be a functional adult?”

If that’s you, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Big transitions in young adulthood are supposed to shake you up. And sometimes, they come with more than just uncertainty. They can crack open space for depression, generalized anxiety, and social anxiety to take root.

Let’s talk about why that happens—and how to navigate it without losing your mind (or your sense of humor).

Why Transitions Hit So Hard

Young adulthood is full of firsts: first jobs, first real independence, first breakups that really sting, first existential crises at 2 a.m. It’s a time of constructing an identity—figuring out not just what you do, but who you are.

That process? It’s thrilling. But it’s also disorienting. You may be leaving behind the structure of school, your family home, or familiar routines. You might be juggling bills, boundaries, and the emotional Olympics of starting over socially.

Your brain (still developing into your mid-20s) is working overtime to adapt. It’s no wonder things can feel overwhelming or even bleak at times.

The Emotional Landscape of Transition

Let’s break down how these transitions can interact with mental health:

Depression

Big changes can stir up grief—even if you “wanted” the change. You might miss the predictability of your old life, feel disconnected in your new one, or question your value when things don’t go smoothly. Depression often shows up as:

• Lack of motivation or interest in things you used to enjoy

• Fatigue, changes in sleep or appetite

• Feeling numb, hopeless, or excessively self-critical

It’s not laziness. It’s a nervous system trying to cope with overload.

Generalized Anxiety

The “what ifs” come in fast and loud during transitions. What if I chose the wrong major? What if I never find the right job? What if everyone secretly thinks I’m incompetent?

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty—and transitions are full of it. You might experience:

• Racing thoughts or constant worry

• Physical symptoms like muscle tension, stomach issues, or restlessness

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

Social Anxiety

Starting over in new places—college, workplaces, cities—can trigger fears about judgment or rejection. You might find yourself:

• Avoiding social situations altogether

• Replaying interactions in your head for hours

• Feeling physically anxious (blushing, sweating, trembling) when meeting new people

Again, you’re not weird. You’re adjusting—and your brain is in hyper-alert mode while doing so.

So What Can You Actually Do About It?

1. Name it. Normalize it. Just saying “this is a big transition, and it’s okay that I’m struggling” can reduce the shame spiral. You’re not failing—you’re human-ing.

2. Create tiny anchors. When everything feels new, having small, stable routines (your morning playlist, Sunday calls with a friend, walking the same route each day) can give your brain a sense of safety.

3. Stop doom-scrolling your peers. Social media is a highlight reel. It doesn’t show the crying in bathrooms, awkward job interviews, or lonely dinners. Comparison will steal your peace—choose presence over perfection.

4. Feel your feelings, don’t judge them. Sadness, fear, loneliness—they’re valid, not problems to fix. Let them move through you like weather, not permanent forecasts.

5. Get support. Therapy can be life-changing during transitions. You don’t need a crisis to reach out. You just need a safe space to unpack your story.

A Final Word (from a therapist who’s been there too)

Transitions in young adulthood can feel like being handed the keys to a car you’re not sure you know how to drive—and no one gave you the manual. It’s okay to stall. It’s okay to question everything. It’s okay to feel like a mess sometimes.

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Be gentle with yourself. The discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong—it means you’re growing.

Resources for Young Adults Navigating Transitions & Mental Health:

• Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb – A therapist’s honest, funny, moving take on therapy and being human.

• The Defining Decade by Meg Jay – How your twenties matter (without the pressure).

• Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett – A great intro to understanding your emotional landscape.

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab – A helpful guide for creating healthy connections in changing relationships.

Disclaimer: This article is intended for informational purposes only and does not substitute for personalized mental health care. If you’re experiencing significant emotional distress, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional or crisis support in your area.